Attack of the Brandroids

The stock is down 45%, the financial clock is ticking faster… it’s time for practicing the brand management of desperation!  How about a 20 oz, 740 calorie frozen blended "beverage" that packs a 114 gram carbo wallop and tastes vaguely like a stale floor scrap off our signature donut line?  Sure, it’ll ruin our laser focus on making great donuts and great donuts alone, and turns us into something more like a Starbucks with better pastries and worse coffee, or a Dunkin’ Donuts with better donuts and just-as-mediocre coffee, but we’ll keep our jobs for at least a few more months, and besides, as brandroids we’re all about line extensions and "tremendous" growth opporunities and what was De Niro talking about anyway with all that "this is this" mumbo jumbo?… I think he was babbling about something like "fundamental goo", which is what this drink is all about and pretty much sums up what Krispy Kreme will be with just, oh, three more years of this kind of inane marketing behavior.